What To Do When You Hit a Creative Block

Have you ever set out to create something only to end up stuck somewhere along the way?  Maybe it’s an element that isn’t working, or perhaps the concept is just not translating the way you hoped.  Or how about when you start to question whether your idea was worth its salt to begin with? What then? Though it can be an extremely frustrating circumstance, what if I told you these roadblocks are as important as the process itself?  It’s true! And I’m going to tell you why.

When I studied studio arts at Texas Tech, I had a professor that was new to the university.  He was the stereotypical artist-type, but he had chosen to fly to our stinky cow-town weekly to teach classes only to return to his family on the weekends.  At the time, I couldn’t understand why someone would make such a sacrifice for a career. However, now that I have a family of my own, I can say that for the love of art and making it support your family,  I can certainly empathize! I digress. Michael was a fabulous painter with a killer work ethic and I aspire toward something similar--I bet you didn’t know I was a painter too, did you? Surprise! I studied oils for 3 years before abandoning it to pursue family-life!  

At any rate, oils didn’t come easily to me--nothing really has.  I’ve always felt as though I had to scratch and claw my way to anything resembling success.  Painting was no different. There I was studying oils and yet I felt as though I was constantly failing at the assignments Michael gave.  He was incredibly patient as the very best teachers are. In fact, it was not at all uncommon for me to send a midnight S.O.S. and receive a response within the hour. That may seem like a small thing now, but in 2003 we were pre-smart phone, and the culture wasn’t yet accustomed to being constantly attached to email.   

I remember an approaching deadline for an assignment late one evening and sending a particularly pointed  S.O.S. email to Michael. On this particular night, I had come to the end of myself. My newly-wed husband had long-since been asleep on the other side of the wall, while my bloodshot eyes and desperate fingers pumped the keys of a massive computer to frantically incite the help of my professor. I didn’t think I had it in me to complete this assignment and I wanted desperately to quit.  I had about two days until the deadline and nothing close to presentable. This moment--this email--seemed like a defining moment. 

Oh, it was defining for sure.

Just not in the way you might expect. 

The response came in the wee hours not long after I sent it and I distinctly remember how I felt when my I laid my paintbrush down to reply. I trembled as I opened the email, but where I had expected to receive diplomatically-veiled-disdain, I was instead met with perplexing excitement. 

Wait, what?!  This man was enthusiastic about my struggling? What sort of psychosis is this? 

None, as it turns out. 

You see, he knew something I was about to learn in the best and hardest way: Challenge is a part of the process. It’s not a byproduct of crappy artistry and it’s not something “good” artists  grow out of. No. It's something we grow into.

Challenge is where wisdom and perseverance are forged. It’s where we are faced with our shortcomings and invited to grow.  If a tree grows stronger by weathering the storms, so do we, but we do so only by moving through it with the acceptance that we are touched by something greater than ourselves.  

Providence perhaps?  

At any rate, Michael described his exuberance over my struggle. Not because he was sadistic in the way many of us might describe some of our college professors. No. He told me he wasn’t worried about my artistry at all. He said that the very fact that I was reaching for something outside of myself meant that I was going to be okay. He expressed great concern over the students who weren’t reaching out for help, worried they would not grow.  He explained to me how his job was not to create great painters, but instead to create skilled thinkers...creative problem solvers. A people who see creative blocks as an opportunity to dig deeper and who have the longsuffering to see a hard work to completion.

Challenge...

It’s perhaps the best and the worst part of the creative process. 

This past Friday, I set out with a lofty goal to photograph and video two--TWO--images in 2 hour time span.The problem was, I wasn’t having fun doing it.  It felt hard and little seemed to go according to plan. I eventually had to call it and pack up. Turns out I’d forced the hand of inspiration and suffocated it altogether, but not before getting a few handfuls of shots I’d try to salvage.  However, when I got it back to my computer, much to my disdain, nothing wanted to work. I could only get within a stones throw of what I’d wanted! Again and again I tried, but the image wouldn’t budge. I’d hit a wall.

It’s a familiar story any artist can empathize with.  So what did I do? I surrendered to the piece. Why? Because it was begging me for room to breathe. I had no choice but to “serve the work” as Madeleine L’Engle calls it. So I gave it the room it needed.  

If you don’t wrestle with your art, are you creating good art? If it doesn’t push you, pull you, or make you uncomfortable at least part of the time, are you really creating worthwhile work? 

So this is my advice: Don’t be afraid of the challenge or creative blocks.  

Sure it might make you angry.  Maybe you feel you don’t have time for it. You might be tempted to question everything.  I get it! I’ve been there a time or two ( *ahem* Friday). The sooner we accept this, the sooner we will start to make better art!  

What if you get really-really stuck? What then…?

That’s when you wave your white flag.  Wave it until you feel it in your bones, and then walk away.  

Wait, what?  

You see, when you encounter these sorts of immovable walls, take it as a reassurance that something great is about to be born, but know that you can’t rush the process.  You just can’t.

The way of the artist is to labor with the piece; but the piece will be birthed in its own time.  So first surrender and clear your mind. Go do something you love. Sleep on it. Do whatever it takes to clear your head-space. Let the piece breathe.  And finally, reach outside yourself. Seek out familiar sources of inspiration to get your creative juices flowing again. Watch and wait. Stay in tune with your heart and anticipate the subtle twinges that indicate your next move. If you’ve quieted your heart enough, you’ll feel it when it comes.  These twinges will be the catalyst you need to transition through the next stage of the laboring process.

Sometimes pieces have a mind of their own. Trust me when I say they do.  

But if you practice these steps, your piece will come to life and creative blocks will lose their intimidation. Sometimes it takes floating through these steps multiples times.  But it does work! And if I’m wrong--well-- reach out to me! I’d love to engage with you or perhaps lend a helping hand! 

Afterall, community is everything. 

All my best,

Lauren

Overcoming Disappointments

After 10 years of playing hopscotch across the US, The Weatherman and I made a choice to settle in Oklahoma. There were a lot of reasons for this but mostly because we spent 11 years praying for an impossible doorway to open, never sure that it could, until it did. We took a beating to get here, leaving so many great friends, hopeful that our future here would be promising. 

Since then the journey has hardly been what we expected; riddled with disappointments both great and small. But there have been plenty of wonderful things too. It’s not all bad—even a few good friends make nearly anything bearable. Also, The Weatherman can watch the Sooners play pretty much whenever he wants ( a dream come true), and we get to see both of our families more than ever, and very occasionally have the privilege of their free childcare. 

One of the things we’ve not been able to overcome has been finding a house that we love. 

When we left Omaha, we lost 700 square feet of living space including that comfortable 4th bedroom—meaning my girls, having 6 years spread between them, had to share a room. It took 9 months of cramped apartment living to finally purchase a house that we had already outgrown before we moved in. We’ve now been in our house for 5 years and although our neighbors have been an absolute blessing, we have missed that extra bedroom more with each passing day. Spacious living we can do without, but my oldest could use her own room (and my youngest could use some sleep). 

We’ve casually looked for a 4 bedroom house for about the last 2+ years, but this past weekend it all looked as though that was about to change. We found an adorable house with 4 bedrooms and a pool in a fabulous neighborhood! Granted it still wasn’t what I’d call our dream home. 

Does that even exist for the middle class anymore? 

I’m pretty well convinced the answer is a big fat NO unless you’re besties with Chip and Jo--and maybe that only worked 5 years ago.  

But this house was a far better fit than our current situation! We put the offer in, holding our plans with loose hands, and they accepted! So we busted our asses for 48 hours to get ours on the market, informed all the neighbors, and prepared for the change we’ve longed for…

...that is until the call came late Tuesday evening. 

The dreaded call that a cash offer had come in with a quick close and that unless we release the contingency to sell our house first, we would officially lose the house. 

Mind you this is the first house in 2+ years that checked off more than just a few boxes for us. Mind you my kids where stoked and making plans for their new rooms and all the epic pool parties despite our warnings to loosen their grip until we sign on the dotted line. 

You see, this isn’t our first go ‘round—in fact over the course of all of our hunting we’ve seen well over 100 houses in our community of 123k people. Also, we’ve fallen out of 4--now--5 contracts for reasons beyond our control, and we’ve put in more offers and have been outbid on more homes that I can remember. To say it’s been rough to find the right home is an understatement, y’all! I have hated..HATED...every minute of our house-buying journey here. But even this felt different. Even with loose hands, this one had a surprising sting. That sting still written on the furrowed brow of my 13yr old’s precious face, now 48 hours later. 

What now? 

Well, for starters I’ve already returned all the staging shit I bought and pulled the For Sale sign in our front yard. Our house was on the market for all of 5 hours. And damn! if doesn’t it look good! But it only took a day to undo a shocking amount of work, but I digress.

We’re back to square one. Wading through the muck of our disappointment and wrestling back the all the superfluous why Gods. How does one walk through repeated disappointments? I sort of feel like a pro by now. 

For real though, I’m not sure I can answer that question in a neat and tidy fashion and I’ll resist the urge to smatter the rest of this page with expletives. Here’s what I do know. You have to practice gratitude. Gratitude for what you do have. We asked that the divine would intervene if this wasn’t our best move—and well, the Divine did. 

It’s not what we wanted, but I know what we would have wanted even less...having our own way. 

Practice gratitude for the providential protection even when you don’t understand.  Understanding often tarries. Sometimes we never have the privilege of grasping it. But grabbing hold of a bigger picture and putting your longings in perspective will change everything, which brings me to my next point...

Shift your perspective--I have a whole blog post written on how that relates to creativity, but the principals still scale. 

Remind yourself what you love about where you’re at.  Count all the blessings of it, ignoring the challenges. For me?...it’s not having to change my kids’ schools now and putting my weird art--that might scare potential buyers away-- back on the walls. There are at least a handful of other things I’m happy not to have to figure out now.

And lastly, keep your chin up. Wounds don’t equal defeat. Remember that there are always good things to look forward to even if you can’t see them right this minute. Your ability to see or not see on the horizon doesn’t negate the existence of good things ahead.  Joy is not beholden to circumstance. Pick up your heavy feet and put one in front of the other. And after you’ve done that a few times, take a look around and see who around you is keeping pace.  

I know I did—and it was good for my weary soul. 

And for my final words, I confess this little nugget I’ve been withholding... I’ve been closet-studying poetry for the last couple of months. There was a time I used to write a lot of it. I have a secret journal that dates back to my high school days, where poetic lines used to flow with ease. 

Why have I never shared this?  

The answer is, I have always felt a lot of embarrassment over my poetic writings—mostly because they all tend to rhyme and that feels childish.  I tell myself that grown up poets don’t rhyme. 

But what if I don’t want to be grown up?!  I don’t think I do. At least for tonight...maybe especially tonight.  

With that said, I wrote a thing.  A poem thing. I’ll leave you with this vulnerable little untitled poem I wrote to myself through tears and the bottom of my scotch glass.

 Enjoy!

“When you get the call
That you’ve met the brick wall
When your fists meet cold concrete 

Bleed with grace
Then wipe your face
Wounds don’t equal defeat 

Scars close what’s open
Not festering the broken
Hold out for your own seat

It’s understanding that tarries
And hope that carries
And faith that lifts heavy feet

When your plans fail
Dreams will prevail
It’s the liminal spaces that sting

Dry you eyes
Nevermind the whys
Your victory bell will ring!”

— -Lauren

Fear is a Liar: Unlocking the Box Fear Put Me In

Six years ago, I took a running leap off a cliff with my whole life screaming across the feeble promise of a wire.  Little did I know at the time, that a very uncharacteristic head-first dive would create a seismic wave that would ripple through the pages of my first journal. Gliding through that liminal space, my fear gave way to a child-like curiosity and wonder that has cascaded through so many facets of my life to the present day.  How could one simple choice to let go become such a pivotal moment? Allow me to explain…

Last month I took a leap of a different kind and it’s ripples have been no less significant.  I hopped on a plane to North Carolina, flying solo to an unfamiliar location ( a first for me), to drive to an unfamiliar lodge, to meet a bunch of strangers on top of a mountain, with only one common thread to bind us...visual artistry.  Okay, it was that and our mutual appreciation for the vision of The Breath and The Clay. 

I could hardly find my breath as I reluctantly traversed the threshold of the unknown to enter the house I’d call home for the weekend.

As I stepped inside, I was greeted with a name card corresponding with a seat at the table. 

Did you get that?  Let me repeat.  

I had a seat at the table. 

I hope that significance isn’t lost on you. 

After briefly signing in, I was quickly escorted upstairs to the room I would share with a complete stranger (Hey Sarah!!!) and a personalized gift waiting for me.  It was akin to the excitement and terror I felt the day I moved into my first college dorm room. As I was left to settle in, I sat on the bed and proceeded to hyperventilate not just a little.  Fear came knocking on my door like an old friend. I tried to ignore him as I quickly thumbed-off a few brief texts to The Weatherman, letting him know I’d arrived safely to a house of non axe murderers. But now I had a choice to make.  That same worn out choice I’ve made a million times before... but this time is different. I came all this way on a whim, but very expectantly.  So without hesitation, I turned to fear, grabbed him by the balls and reminded him who wears the pants here.  It was no small choice to be sure, but I didn’t come all this way to let fear eat my lunch...again.  

If we’ve bumped shoulders recently, you’ve likely heard me reference fear in some way. I’m sorry not sorry if that gets old to you.  The truth is, fear was an old friend of mine. We spent many years together. And ever since we broke up, he just keeps showing up random places, and he’s always trying to steal my damn food!  But on this particular day in June, I was really hungry! You see, a little over a year ago, God whispered some things, really amazing things...the sort of things that make you say “Here! take all my money”.  But God’s promises come at a cost and no small cost to be sure. But there’s one thing you can be absolutely sure of...it will be worth it!

Whatever he’s suggesting you to give up, albeit substance abuse, various inappropriate coping mechanisms, the secure job, or perhaps just your comfort...you can be sure that He intends to replace it with something better.  

Not buying it? No worries.

What if I told you God required the deconstruction of my “perfect” marriage to give me a better version of the same one?  

What if I told you that walking through sudden and debilitating mental illness is the thing that allowed me to find out who Jesus really is--not the guy they told me He was? --As tangible of an experience as I could ever have on this side of death. 

Believe it or not.  It’s true. 

I would tell you one thousand times over that life is certainly messier than it has ever been, but it is also better than it has ever been.  At great cost, yes, but I wouldn’t trade where I am and who God is in the midst of the mess for all the riches of the world. No, I would not.

So when the invitation to take part in your dreams, comes at the cost of facing a mountain of fears I’ve spent a lifetime piling up, well…you bet your ass I’m saying YES.  

Reluctantly, sure. 

But then it’s not the how that matters in the end, is it?

So here’s the deal..

Fear has been keeping me in a box with promises of comfort and safety.   Too long I stayed in that box. A prisoner of my own accord. Comfortably deprived.  That is until the promise didn’t hold. Because fear doesn’t keep his promises. Do you know that?  He doesn’t. Fear is a liar. And it took me far too long to realize that what I thought was comfort…was in fact prison. 

I was missing out on life.  

I was missing out on adventure. 

I was missing out.   

If there is one thing this Ennegram 7 doesn’t like it’s totes being left out!--hence the seat at the table, yo!  So when Love whispered and invitation to unlock the box, the cost no longer mattered. Which in this story means, I had to collect myself and walk down the stairs to experience the Visual Artist Retreat put on by The Breath and The Clay. And strangers quickly became friends. 

At this point we’re going to fast forward through all the best parts, like the fog-filled mountain sunrises, 2am hangouts, and mysterious green army men being secretly dispersed by some unknown attendee  (we’d later find out was a genius-play by my new friend Kellee), to hurriedly get to the point. 

And that is….

Fear is worth overcoming.  I made a choice to search out my freedom at the beginning of the year.  Turns out, at least for me, that freedom only comes by overcoming fear...and there’s a whole lot more of it that I ever dreamed there would be.  I fight with him daily. But I’ve taken more ground than I knew existed for me. So much so, that I am actually making a daily practice of seeking out areas of fear, both big and small, and overcoming them.  Things like agreeing to interviews, putting my face on video camera, showing up for live video conversation in the Makers and Mystics Book Club ( you totally need to be a part of), creating images that feel super vulnerable, and even writing this blog.  These might seem insignificant to you, but to me they are mountains I’ve moved. And I fully intend to move bigger and badder mountains tomorrow.  

Will Smith once said, “God placed the best things in life on the other side of terror.”

Terror be damned, because I have a lifetime of dreams dreamt!  God sized dreams. I dream of speaking engagements though I hardly feel qualified.  I dream of training and releasing people into their own creativity, though I’m not sure yet how.  I want to have hard conversations and explore that which makes me uncomfortable. I want to explore a diverse community that challenges and allows me to grow in the best way.  I seek to ignite a rebirth of wonder in the hearts of men, women, and children in a way that empowers their own expression of worship in whatever form it takes. I want to experience all these things and so much more, but it won’t happen if I don’t cross the threshold of terror or if I don’t choose to get out of my way. Let’s unlock this God-forsaken box together and climb out toward the unsafe...toward adventure. 

In the profound words of a familiar childhood book…

“You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, so...get on your way!”

— Dr. Seuss, Oh! The Places You'll Go!

~Lauren

P.S. If you enjoy super awkward Youtube videos or would like to see a behind the scenes video of the featured image on today’s post, you can view it below.  Please note, this video would not be possible without the incredible developing creativity of my magical daughter! I am so proud of this area of creativity she’s exploring.   And since she’s home for summer and keeps complaining about being bored, I put her tiny butt to work for me! We hope you can stomach my palpable awkwardness to enjoy and we look forward to producing better vids to come.

The Bitter Guide to Juried Exhibitions: How to Not Piss Away Your Money

I’m by no means an expert, but I don’t need to be an expert to call out a racket when I see it. Juried Exhibitions definitely seem to fall into the category as one of the fastest ways I’ve pissed away my money as an artist.  If there’s one thing I’m passionate about, it’s about helping people and artists avoid mistakes I’ve made along the way--learning as I go. I mean, we have to stick together because we have strength in numbers, and we will thrive better in community over competition.  Now more than ever, I think we need to put our minds together collectively and form an alliance of market disrupters to take antiquated ideas, such as juried exhibitions, and turn them on end. Amirite? Let me explain...

First off, for those who don’t know, let me define what a juried exhibition is.  Galleries will put out a call for entry to artists looking to get their work in front of potential buyers/collectors. If you read all the how-to articles, for some ungodly reason this is still regarded as “the best way” to get started as an emerging artist, and most articles tell you that the artist’s who are most successful are so because they’ve put in their “due time”.  But let me tell you something...I call BS! I say this game more closely resembles racketeering and here’s why... The gallery will have someone of “clout”, sometimes arguable, decide upon a theme for an upcoming show. The point of the show is to bring new talent, but also money. This person is called “the juror”. The Juror will then put out a very general explanation, often adorned with vague elitist art terms, briefly describing the jurors background, the genre, and subject matter the juror wishes to see submitted.  

Sounds pretty straight forward, right?  

Wrong.

If you’ve ever participated in one of these things, it’s kin to what the cajuns call “noodling”--the process by which you dive head first into murky water and stick your hand into a deep hole hoping a catfish will eat your arm so you can “catch the fish”.  Albeit an exhilarating experience, I would not classify this as “the best way” to get the job done. And if you’ve ever tried to read this thing we artists call “The Prospectus” it’s like reading in a dimly lit room struggling make out words on the page. You wade through the muckiest parts of the art world hoping you can grasp a glimmer of understanding about what the juror wants. 

After reading the prospectus you will likely want to enter if you gleaned a relative understanding of what this call for entry might be about and if you think your work might fit the description. You won’t find this tip I’m about to offer you in any article seeking to enlighten you on how to break the code. No.  Indeed you will not, because the art world is riddled with elitist hurdles only the fittest of artists (aka the artist who know the right people or else have spent a lifetime pissing away money and learning from their mistakes) get to pass up. I digress. If you have any hope at all as an emerging artist with skinny pockets you will do your research on the Juror before deciding to enter.  

Here’s why…

Jurors are human, though some might have you believe otherwise, they each have their own preferences and bias’.  Though they may try to approach submissions without these factors being sniffed out, they will fail. So if you care even the slightest about the girth of your wallet, you will get real familiar with the Juror and their work.  Lest you not heed my advice, you will throw away your money at record speed. If and only if aspects of the jurors work, history, and style is remotely reminiscent of your own, should you submit to the show. Your welcome.

Next, let’s talk about submission requirements

Entering a show usually requires a fee. Very seldom will you encounter a free submission though they do exist. However, getting into one of these is liking hunting unicorns.  But hey, I love unicorns! And if my adolescent sheets were any indication, I’d hunt my whole life for a single moment’s glimpse of one. Alas, these fictional creatures wouldn’t be regarded as special if you could see one every day, much like these free entries.  Consider yourself warned.  

Most entry fees are somewhat reasonable ranging $35-60 for a submission and up to 5 images being pretty standard. Not too shabby until you enter a few at a time in the name of exposure.  And you will if you’re trying to make a name for yourself. Still doable for the general population if that was the only fee, but did you read what happens if your selected? Some galleries then require your prints to be framed and shipped.  Some will give the option print and/or “rent” a frame for...you guessed it...a small fee. This can be a really handy service if you make it past the juror, but you’ll find out what you’re in for ahead of time if you remotely care about those dollars. 

The first show I entered, I spent $60 on the entry fee and then had to shell out another $100+ for framing when my work was selected.  I also travelled to see the show for even more monetary urination, but that was voluntary because it was my first and it felt like a big deal.

Now, let me drop the bomb. Remember the part about making it past the Juror? Yeah.  Once you’ve submitted it’s like a shot in the dark. A waiting game. The part where you cross your fingers and pray.  It’s not a fun game and yet this is what all the articles regard as “the best way” to get noticed as an emerging artist.  

Really?!  This is the best you’ve got for me? <insert huge eye roll>

If you’re one of the lucky ones, you will have the pleasure of skating past the Eye of Sauron.  By all means celebrate! You’ve got one more line on your elegantly exaggerated CV to push you one step further on the pernicious road to the holy grail, or what us emerging artists call “gallery representation”. 

<insert fist bump> Get you sooooome.  

You’ve got all my kudos. 

Seriously.

But if you’re not selected…

This is where the gallery politely shows you the toilet...and then the back door.

More times than not, you will receive an email sugar coating the fact that juror thought your art sucked..probably because of some inherent bias that you have zero control over or ability to have known because of the ambiguity of the earlier stated prospectus.

 Ohhhh but it’s so politely stated! 

And to pour salt on the wound they will say things like, “Please do not take this news as a reflection of the quality or value of your artwork.” And then they proceed to pepper your inbox with every call for entry they ever have from here until kingdom come.  

Why? Because you fed the beast!

Laying my cute eccentricities aside... I’ve got a real problem with this system and here’s why:

Emerging artists typically don’t have a lot of cash to work with. Myself totally included. And we’re told  “the best way” to make a career of this is to throw your money in the hole and pray on bended knee it’s good enough to stay afloat in the proverbial juried-exhibition-toilet. And if a couple hundred dollars doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, how about when you’ve submitted to 6 shows in a few months time?  If that’s still not a big deal, then you’re among the world’s elite and please buy my art! Now I’m sorry (not sorry) if that offends you, but this is why some of the worlds greatest art won’t be seen. And that makes me really sad!

The Part we haven’t even touched on is what happens if your work happens to sell at a show.  Well, this has only happened a couple of times for me and it’s amazing! But what isn’t amazing is the gallery commission.  Galleries who actually care about their artists are what we call “commission-based” and they will take around 50% of the commission give or take.  So when pricing your work, be sure to factor that in. Anything beyond that I would label a “vanity gallery” and I would run not walk far far away.  

The last bitter note I have about juried exhibitions is what happens afterward... which is basically nothing. If you ask me, the whole system is broken.   Let’s say you manage to land a few shows. An unquantifiable amount of people will see your work in person. Of the ones that did only a fraction of them likely admired it among all the other pieces.  If they liked it, you still have to overcome the hurdle of them not scoffing at your price. But if you actually attend the show, you stand to gain a whole lot more through networking.

So what is the point of all of this and where do we go from here?  I’m going to tell you, but first I want to take a moment to congratulate you for making it this far.  Well done good and faithful artist/reader/or whoever you are.  

The point is to say this...The whole system is antiquated.  It has not kept up with the advances in our culture and markets due to the connections we are able to make with social media.  Used to we needed places like galleries to create ways to draw in fresh talent while acting as a hub for some of the worlds most influential artists to be found by buyers/collectors.  That was before the internet; before the interconnectedness of social media. Now that the artist can take their work straight to their audience at the tap of a screen, the juried exhibition model is an old faction that we need to do away with entirely.  It has slowly coerced the hard earned dollars of artists like me with empty promises of things like exposure and notoriety, but it only delivers for the elite few. The fact that this model still exists at all is just confirmation that this prior helpful business model is now just a racket put on by a dying breed of galleries in need of swift innovation if it is to continue in existence.  

 Now that we’ve established that, where does that leave us?  How about in need of some new ideas, eh? Why should we sit around and wait for some institution to validate our work before we show it?  Why wait for some big gallery name to open its doors to you? Who’s got time for that?! If you’re an artist then you’re already a creative thinker and a questioner.  Chances are you find yourself within a community of other creatives, whether in craft, or art, or some other skill set and you’re all looking for ways to put your work out there.  So why not come together collectively and make it happen? Why not organize your own exhibition whether inside someone’s home or a borrowed space? You don’t need to pay a gallery to market you, you have social media for that.  Listen. We live in a day an age, where we have the privilege of not having to hire an entire team to carry out these tasks (although it might be nice to delegate sometimes). It is a brilliant time to figure out how to pool resources with those closest to you, in a way that benefits you all, or maybe it doesn’t and you just want to serve others in that way...that’s great too.  But the point is, lets stop throwing our resources at antiquated, broken, business models to get our work out there. Find a way to put your heads together and do the damn thing! It’s going to take some educating of your audience, but the stage has already been set. Let’s not be afraid to get our hands dirty, disrupt old ways of doing things, and let trial by fire show us the way to make history happen.  

After all, we are here for such a time as this aren’t we? 

-Lauren

Exploring the Abyss: How to overcome creative obstacles

Abyss

The term “abyss” refers to an immeasurable deep space. In this piece, I explore the awakening of the deep space of our inner-dwelling and the spirit that inhabits it. As we cast off busyness of mind, that traps us in a spiritual slumber, we are able to elevate the heart and allow its senses to awaken. When achieved, the heart is given freedom to practice fluidity of the spiritual experience by unfastening the bindings that would otherwise relegate us to the confines of our flesh.

If you read my last blog post, you know that recently I needed to step back for my own sanity, but after doing so, I found that busyness just filled up the gaps. It’s like I stepped off one hamster wheel to try out another. I had to get disciplined about resting, which are words I never thought I would utter.  When yesterday came, I finally had the energy to create the first in a new body of work I’m exploring, only to be confronted by what seemed like endless obstacles. How do you overcome that when you’re feet are already feel heavy? I don’t have a magical cure for this, but I can tell you how I got through it. Let’s do this...

I set out to embark on the exploration of a new body of work, right?--but I found myself in knots.  I felt so overwhelmed by the process of set up that I almost pushed it off. As I waded through the swamp of my own mind, pushing past this obstacle, I was met with yet another...the backdrop I’d planned to use was ruined.  The Weatherman ran over it with the car because I have nowhere else to store it but our garage (in the house we outgrew before we even moved in).

Here I am trudging through internal sludge, waist deep in mental-mud so thick I can barely lift a foot and here comes a mud-ball to the face.  Wth, man?!

This discovery rendered me utterly stuck.  I literally stood paralyzed and staring out the side-door-window of the garage.  My body was frozen, but my mind took off sprinting through the dappled light of the giant oak tree screaming like a little girl--leaving the rest of me in the dust.

I want to flee from the hard.  

After my mind calmed a bit, my inner dialogue went something like this...

Bad Lauren:  You could give up.  You could call it for today.

Good Lauren: But there’s the deadline for that thing I’m really looking forward to. I should keep going...maybe I could try that other thing instead.  Either it works or it doesn’t and trying is better than nothing.

Bad Lauren: Just give up already!

Good Lauren:  Yep. I’m going to try that thing.  Good talk.

As I pulled myself up by my proverbial birkenstock-straps, I chose to take a creative risk and go about it another way.  I peered through my mind’s eye and visualized the sense of victory I could have if I overcame this sizable obstacle. And do you know what?! It looked worth it.

Challenge accepted.

...and what if I also choose a posture of gratitude for the challenge and what it might produce rather than wallow in creative-self-pity?  

Challenge also accepted.

Back to work! I went inside to grab my speedlite only to discover I was short a battery.  One lone battery standing in the way of me and my next masterpiece. What do you think happened next?

Well, I could bore you with the long list of trivial hindrances that came next and the inner battle that ensued, but that’s not the point.

The point is that this entire experience encompasses a lot of the struggle that I and so many other creatives go through.  The struggle is real for many of us trying to make enough bacon to feed ourselves and perhaps a small army (and fix the horse-dog with $350 worth of infected anal glands….Yes, yes, I did just say that).

But wait!  There’s more….

Upon completing what felt like a monumental task, I then had to write an artist statement, for the thing I mentioned earlier.  Though writing artist statements is an excellent exercise, it can be quite challenging. Writing about a piece after expending the energy to create it is it’s own kind of hard.  The kind that makes you dig extra deep, organize your thoughts, and then fluff it up into fancy art-terms to make you sound legit. Okay, but really...I didn’t exactly feel like it in the moment, but I unearthed my trenches and I’m sooo grateful I did! You see, the hats I wear come with a marathon of obstacles that I’m constantly running into to make space to pursue a fine art career...and not the kind of career you use “air quotes” for.  I’m in this for real, because guess what?--monopoly money and instagram likes aren’t going to feed and clothe my kids. And you? I see you. You have your own titles with obstacles of their own.

So why am I telling you all of this?

Well, lest you be deceived in thinking I enjoy referencing canine anal glands, it’s actually because sometimes I need to hear all of the reasons why I should continue to fight through the obstacles. Even if the person I hear it from is me. And If I need reminding that it’s worth it to face “hard” dead on, then I assume some of you may need to hear it too.

In these last moments that I have your attention, let me remind you that you have something amazing to offer. You create magic when you resolve to push past the obstacles to do what you were born to do.  You can find incredible treasures when you explore your abyss through the awakening of the heart and spirit which all too often fall victim to a busy-slumber. That treasure won’t surface by itself and it wouldn’t be treasure if it didn’t take effort to find. So carry on, Warrior! Overcome those obstacles. This world needs what you have to give.

-Lauren

Exhibition Hangover : What no one is telling you

It’s not something anyone really talks about, but it plagues creators of all kinds.  It happens in the aftermath of a show and it often strikes hardest just after the biggest of our career milestones. I call it the “Exhibition Hangover”.  Like other hangovers it has the nasty backhanded sting fresh off the heels of a career high, but unlike others this one isn’t alcohol induced. Allow me to elaborate...

It set in like a dark cloud Saturday afternoon, following the most exciting exhibition I’ve had thus far as an emerging artist. I’ve been honored with several exhibitions this year, but this was the first at a dedicated gallery where I would share the entire gallery, with one other VERY talented artist. It’s the one I’ve been preparing for since last October and the last one I have on the calendar at the moment.  

This was a milestone and now it is behind me.

The early warning signs went unnoticed, until first big wave wash over me around 4pm Saturday afternoon.  I crawled into bed and couldn’t get out. The next morning came and I felt okay until lunch time, but I didn’t have time to slow down because of kids’ activities. The next wave hit shortly after 2pm Sunday.  This time I crashed harder than the first, clocking a 3 hour nap, and upon waking I was unable exit the prone position save a quick tossing-together of edibles for the growing people. I thought the worst of it was behind me when monday came and I stubbornly went to the gym, made a quick stop at the grocery store, before catching a lunch-date with The Weatherman. When the final wave hit, refusing to be ignored, it came like a tsunami of mixed emotions.  First I was cranky and then I went numb. If it were big enough, I would have hidden in the closet with a pillow and blanket for the next month, but alas they know where to find me.

What is going on with me?!...I had been so energized just a few days before.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude, but I also feel depleted.  I am tired. I don’t feel like doing anything that I love and I am stuck neither here nor there.  Wrestling a feeling of heaviness and foreboding, that if I do not start my new series right away all my momentum will be lost, my work forgotten, and my energy spent for naught.

This is the definition of what I call the “Exhibition Hangover”. It’s like a slave-driver wielding a relentlessly-nasty whip threatening a broken and tired back.  It’s twin brother goes by the name “Imposter Syndrome” with a whole other twisted game. But Hangover continuous loops the highlight reel and then threatens to take it all away at the same time. It pleads with you to forget about rest and do more and be more. The two of them often sneak in together while you’re too busy hustling to notice.  Thankfully, I have dealt with these two before so let me tell you what I’m going to do.

Firstly, it’s important to remember that rest is part of the creative process, though easily forgotten, and often hard to come by. When I find myself fresh on the heels of a career high, I have to make space for rest on the other side.  Being too busy, too divided, or too tired, is the best way to suck your creative energy dry. So in the next week or so, I’m making space.  

Second, I’m going to take time to remember who I am when I’m not creating.  Creativity maybe my forte, but I do not cease to exist apart from it. If you find yourself in this trap, take time to do something things apart from the creation process.  Maybe it’s Marie-Kondo-ing your hall closet? Maybe it’s fantasizing about re-doing your living room? Whatever it is, remember to share your headspace with other things. Creativity isn’t going to leave you just because you’re taking a break.  In fact, it performs better when well rested. While you’re resting, if you find something that ignites you for a moment, sketch it out, write it down, but save it for when your energy returns. Consider these subtle bursts as nothing more than fuel for the fire you will re-ignite at the appropriate time.

Lastly, if you experience the exhibition hangover, you are normal.  I know no one is talking about this, but it’s a thing. I promise. It’s okay to feel exhausted and uninspired after the culmination of something you’ve been working tirelessly toward.  I just spent 4 months expending a ton of energy balancing all my worlds for crying out loud! And I kicked some major ass! So you’ll have to excuse me while I recover.  In the meantime, I’m going to spend the next week or so making room to experience and process all that was, while preparing for what’s next.

When the hangover clouds clear, you and I will be poised and ready to kick some major tail again.

-Lauren

A Meeting of Minds

Have you ever come face to face with part of your nature that you aren’t friends with?  When that happens how do you respond? It’s uncomfortable coming to grips with your ugly.  One of my uglies is that I’m a big scaredy-cat, though I didn’t acknowledge it for a really long time.  But if there is something I’ve learned recently it’s that it’s better to face my inner demons head on instead of the alternative.  So let’s come to a meeting of minds shall we?

Fear.  

It’s the thing that keeps us stuck.  It threatens our every step and tells us the next one will be our last.

But is it really? Will it be your last?

I wrestle a lot with that question and how it applies to the nature of my work which some might label “dark and twisty”. Labels like that come with negative connotations and I think my work is anything but.  So while I’m not really a fan, I am coming to terms with it. In my work, I aim to expose the human condition, and in this particular image “fear”, but why? So we can sit and stare at it? Maybe poke it with a stick? Just to clarify, I’m not talking about the kind of fear that saves you from tumbling over the edge of a cliff or that keeps you from getting in the white van with the dude that just offered you a puppy.  I’m talking about the fear that keeps you from stepping out of your comfort zone to do what you were created for. That’s the one. He puts on a convincing act of intimidation, but behind all the fanfare, he is actually a small duplicitous mind with a cunning manner.

Fear is a liar.

Here’s the deal.  Everytime I create or write something really vulnerable, fear starts talking.  He makes a very convincing case that this will be the one that crosses the line.  

“You’ve gone too far this time.”

“They’ll surely reject you, turn back!”

“No one needs to see this.  You’re the only one who wrestles with that”

“Don’t embarrass yourself”

...and too many other lies to tell.

He actually makes my room spin sideways ever time I click the submit button.  Errrytime.

Each time I post, I have to sit back and find my breath again. It feels like staring down the barrel of a gun in a game of roulette and praying this won’t be the one that fires. His intimidation game is strong, but it turns out that when you force him into the light of day, you get a clearer look at what you’re dealing with.  And when you get to the thing that’s behind him...well, guess what? It’s magical.

Here’s the truth...when others reciprocate my story it’s confirmation.  It’s proof that you and I in this together, though fear would tell you otherwise.  But this year has been all about finding the courage to walk in freedom. Freedom to explore the deep place, bring light to the dark place, and connect with the people I find along the way.  It’s about embracing the imperfect and how it relates to my faith, seeking truth in the hard questions, and doing it scared. Each piece I create represents a little part of my story and perhaps reflects a part of yours. Don’t run from it. Make a choice to face the ugly part of your nature and call a meeting for the purpose of a break up. Stare it down. Push back. Because just on the other side is freedom to fulfill the thing you were made for. And it is magical!  

-Lauren

PSA: Look for the Helpers

“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping”

— Fred Rogers

We’ve all heard the term “starving artist”.  I remember my first week as an art major at Texas Tech, I was required to take some new “intro to arts” course where they discussed in a brief summation of why no artist should have to starve.  Well, I wish I’d been more intentional about taking notes, because that info might better serve me now. Whether you consider yourself an artist or creative, making a living as a creative entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart.  The world of a creative can often be a rollercoaster of ups and downs, and lest you be nestled snugly in one of the lows, here is your PSA to look for the helpers.

This gorgeous piece of advice actually came from the mother of one Mr. Rogers.  

Do you remember?

Mr. Rogers talked about when he was scared as a little boy about things going on in the world, his mom would encourage him to “Look for the helpers.  There will always be helpers”. He went on to say that often times they are in the background where it’s not obvious, but if you look, you will always find them.

The life of the creative is often filled with the highest of highs and the lowest lows.  It’s sudden bursts of inspiration so powerful that concentration can be challenging.The exhilaration of taking an idea from concept to reality is unsustainable and can often give way to temporary valleys when expectation of return takes longer than you thought. It takes grit and long uncompensated hours of trial and error. Earning living creatively comes with a cost that is often great--and I’m not necessarily talking about money, though that is part of it.

In my own experience  I often relate to the story of Nehemiah when he was building with one hand and using a sword to fight off enemies with the other.  My enemies aren’t the same as Nehemiah’s; In my line of work, they look like busyness, the struggle for resources, tedious daily responsibilities that build up, the struggle to land exhibitions, or a failed concept.

It can be overwhelming.  And when it is, take a step back, breathe deep and look for the helpers in your life.  They are always there.

Last week it looked like an unexpected phone call that connected me to a new friend and a group of artists/moms more established than I to learn from.  I am ecstatically grateful for the opportunity to connect and hopefully give back in one way or another.

This week, it was an email that contained a tiny deposit of hope in my dream bank.

So should you find yourself struggling...remember Mr. Rogers and remember to look for the helpers.

3 Steps for Harnessing Inspiration in Your Creative Process

“I always get where I am going, by walking away from where I’ve been”

— Pooh

When I was growing up, my childhood bestie (and best friend of nearly 30 years) had an infatuation with Winnie the Pooh that I could never fully understand.  In middle school, she carried a Pooh-themed diaper bag as a purse, because that’s what you do when you’re just dipping your toes into your own individuality--and she wore it proudly.  I always admired her conviction of things. But as it was, you might say that my older influences had me prematurely “outgrow” anything that might have been considered “juvenile” in order to avoid any consequential heckling from my two, older, rough and tumble brothers.  But time is a funny thing, and as it would have it, even things you once couldn’t understand can become nostalgic when given enough of it.

When the movie “Christopher Robin” came out, I immediately thought of my sweet friend.  Though, to my greatest surprise I found it impacted and inspired me on so many levels, that I wonder how this was so sorely bypassed in my youth! I mean, how did I not see Pooh’s wisdom?  I suppose my gray hairs have lent me the ability to hear the profound intertwined with the simple, because some of the quotes brought my whole house of cards tumbling down... and those are the moments when I know a new image is being birthed.  A lot of what I create comes very simply from the shaking--the moments that God brings the cards down and clears my line of sight. It’s the pain and discomfort of the labor that births forth a beautiful story to tell. This is how I cultivate my creative process. These are my 3 steps to harnessing inspiration in your creative process and photography:

Step 1:  Recognizing your houses of cards.

Now, you may be thinking I’m nuts. It’s all good--I’m learning to own it.  But hear me out. We’ve all developed little houses of cards--and by that, I mean fragile little ways of thinking that aren’t built from solid wholehearted thought patterns. Nope.  These fragile structures are toxic ways of thinking that are built on lies or false beliefs that come about often because of pain or disappointment. Most of the time, we don’t know they are there until the truth begins to shake underneath them.  You’ve felt it. It feels like resonance; waves of truth that amplify and reverberate deep within your soul when you hear them. Learn to be sensitive to those.

Step 2:  Let the cards fall.

So many people are scared or even paralyzed when the cards fall, because where do you go from there?  But I’m here to tell you, let them fall! Let every last wrong way of thinking come down. Sure it’s unsettling and I am no stranger to it.  But when that big fragile structure is leveled...you’ve just cleared your line of sight. You now have a new foundation from which to build truth upon.  You take that wrong way of thinking, identify what the truth is, and now you have a story to tell.

Step 3:  Tell the story

Now that you’ve identified your shifty house, weathered the storm, and endured the discomfort of the cards falling...now you begin to tell your story.  This is where the magic happens. This is where I begin to think of ways that I can symbolically represent a chapter of my story in a single image. What elements or props could you use to represent your chosen them? What body position, colors, or lack thereof would set the tone for the story you are telling?  Think about ways that you can intertwine literal interpretations with symbolic ones. But tell your story.

In this piece, I wanted to show the sense of vulnerability, joy and melancholy of waiting for dreams to come to pass.  I used the balloons to represent my many dreams, the color red to provoke a sense of strength in vulnerability and my daughter’s bear to represent my choice to approach my journey with child-like faith as I wait for my dreams to come to pass.

As I watched Christopher Robin, several parts struck me in profound ways, but among them is a part when Christopher Robin is trying to send Pooh back to the 100 acre wood in an attempt to protect his own house of cards per-sey.  We all do it. It is only natural to act in self preservation when we feel the shaking. But embrace it. And as pooh steps into the doorway he is met by his disappointment of being sent away and having to face his journey potentially alone.  Instead of walking away from those hard feelings, he embraces them, stops and waits. When Christopher Robin asks, “Pooh what are you doing”. Pooh responds, “ Sometimes when I’m going somewhere, I wait. And then a somewhere comes to me.” This is the moment when Christopher Robin chooses to embrace the shaking and let his cards fall. Upon entering the 100 acre wood, in the quest to find Pooh’s friends, they must overcome the fear of being lost--the same feeling we feel when our expectations have been leveled. Instead of becoming paralyzed in this place, they both choose to move through it, when Pooh offers this invitation...

“I always get where I am going, by walking away from where I’ve been”

— Pooh

Clouded Perspective: How shifting your perspective can shift your outcome

In photography perspective is everything.  As photographers and creatives we make a living from selling our perspective.   We see what others don’t, we make it reality, and people pay us for that. But what do you do when clouded thinking alters your perspective and renders you stuck?  What do you do when your perspective becomes the very thing that holds you prisoner to your circumstance? You have to shift.

If you know or have followed me, you know that walking through brokenness with others is the name of my game.  I’m the weirdo that gravitates toward it. Often, brokenness can bring with it a sobered mindset, which I’ve come to deeply appreciate, but it can also bring clouded perspectives.  As I’ve been walking this out, I’ve found myself chewing on this piece of shifting my perspective for some time. Isn’t it funny how when a theme is planted in your heart, you suddenly see how it relates to everything--professionally and personally?

And to think Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton’s video was the trigger point.  

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend watching it as it has been a pandora’s box of inspiration to me.  When I look at a work like this, one thing seems clear… you must have an amazing team come together, in one harmonious vision, tasked with only one thing--you do you to further this vision.

When creatives align and have room to freely do what they do--It resonates! Ferociously.

Now, I’m admittedly a little embarrassed that you could lump me in the fan-girl category for Justin Timberlake, because I was the girl who flat refused to like NSYNC in high school.  However, as he matured from his former curly-haired-baby-face-days, JT has shown talent and creativity you cannot deny...and that music video was the tipping point for this blog-post-to-come..

It began with a rabbit-trail-of-thought where as I watched I asked myself what I would do if I had access to the same resources I saw at work in the video.  Which ultimately led me to ask myself how can I get close to creating that thing with the resources I have. Which led me to revisit this piece…

…and shift the perspective to this piece…

Which ultimately has become one of my top performing images to date and landed itself in a permanent spot for Photo Place Gallery’s Online “Altered Realities” exhibition.

Further still, if I could boil all of that down for a 5 minute interview with Justin (because we’d totes be on a first name basis), I would ask him only one question,

“What perspective(s) had to shift to get you where you are today?”  

That’s it.  

That’s all I’d want to know.

Okay, soooo I might ask my buddy Justin if he would connect me to his people so I can share the same creative connections.  Come on, I’d be stupid not too!

At any rate, I’ve been working on this thought-piece of how shifting your perspective can also shift your outcome dramatically, through the simple act of asking myself that question each time I come up against what feels like a road block. But in some instances,  my perspective was so clouded, I could not see it was wrong yet. I was still stuck in the struggle.  I was allowing my vision to be clouded by my perceived failures...failure to produce resources, failure of talent, failure to connect, failure to succeed.

Did you catch that? My vision was clouded by my perceived failures.

You see, I believe perspective can mislead you, break you, or make you.  It all depends on how you approach it and what you do with it.

For me, the right perspective always comes with the renewing of my mind in reading the bible and practice.

This past week I was invited to a private art exhibit where proceeds of sales would be donated to a local non profit.  When the owner of this non profit stood up to talk about the work he was doing, my tendency toward cynicism might have rendered me stuck at  ”here’s another dude with more money than he knows what to do with needing a tax break”. I’ll admit, that tends to be my unfortunate default, but knowing how unfair that is, I chose to shift. Quickly.  

Eleanor Roosevelt once said “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people”.

Brilliant words...so let’s focus on ideas shall we?

A really interesting thing happened when I shifted...Instead of standing in unfair shallow judgement, I was able to hear the extraordinary heart of a man with a vested interest in at-risk kids.  A man who was himself surprised at the exponential change taking place. What began as a relatively straightforward idea of improving sports fields and resources at inner-city schools has been directly reflected in the increase in graduation numbers and teens pursuing higher education, as well as lowering incarceration stats among the teens and young adults in the area. My perspective had shifted.

After listening to that, I had to shake that man’s hand.  So I did. Which I should point out, is a boldness that I did not previously possess due to the misperception that I don’t belong.

Furthermore,he introduced me to his right hand-- a lady who owns a branding and marketing company--also wildly successful by my current standards.  Among many hats she wears, she loves to help non profits reach their full potential by breaking through certain stereotypes around fundraising that cause them to plateau. As I stood and talked to her for a long time, she offered me a very interesting little morsel to chew on.  She said that she believes her company’s success rides solely on her positive perspective about fundraising, which contrasts with the traditional “check the box” perspective the rest of her profession carries. What a funny thing to say, but since we’re focusing on ideas, let me explain how it applied to my personal experience.

This week I heard a fellow creative say that she felt she was invisible to her audience.  It broke my heart. That used to be a HUGE struggle of mine that ultimately caused me to remain stuck in my business and online presence.  For me it boiled down to the lie that I don’t belong. I shared with her a quote I read in “Braving The Wilderness” that was a catalyst for breaking that misperception:

“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”

— Brene Brown, Braving The Wilderness,

What a perspective shift!  One that I have traversed personally.  

You see, three years ago I set out to start my photography business and was failing miserably as of late last year.  I believe it’s because I didn’t yet believe that my perspective behind a camera carried worth. I believe God frustrated my efforts to get me to hone in on my unique perspective which cannot be duplicated by another.  If I had not been bored and frustrated to tears, if I had something left to lose--professionally speaking, I would not have found my most honest voice behind the camera. I would not have determined that my photographic perspective was worth the price I command and I would still be negotiating my worth with clients who wanted to spend less.

Let’s hang out here for just a second...

As creatives, it’s a tough business, amirite?  As a photographer, I would sometimes have prospective clients come to me because they love my work/perspective, but they didn’t love my price and they want me to do it “this” way.  

How, pray-tell, does that work?  Who hired who?

Clients, let me tell you this...if you ask a creative to bend their vision to yours, they may acquiesce because they want the business, but the outcome will disappoint because you have quenched the very creative spark that drew you to them in the first place.

And, if you saw and admired the work of a creative...BUUUUYYYYY IT. Don’t run off to a big box store and buy the cheap, mass-produced, not original, wanna-be-art. Because every time a bell rings...another artist starves to death for a bullshit cheap imitation. Trust us, will you?  We’re professionals! ;)

I digress...

My efforts were frustrated, but it brought me to a place of demanding my worth.  Of realizing that me and my work’s worth remains even if it is not appreciated by the masses. Because someone will and that connection is worth everything to me! I believe God orchestrated the frustration of my efforts to show me that I was aiming for the wrong thing.  Instead, I realized I’ve got something to say and the right people haven’t heard it yet. I made the choice to speak my truth even if no one appears to be listening, because my voice matters even if it’s not appreciated by the masses. The things I have to say won’t be relevant to everyone, but they will be relevant to someone.

That is what it’s about amirite?

Just because I personally do not love Picasso’s work doesn’t mean his work doesn’t have worth now does it?

It’s all about the shift.  And if you shift the right direction, so will your outcome.

If my perspective had not shifted, I would still be shedding tears that I did not have the resources I needed to do what I was doing. I’d still be making excuses that my camera isn’t the one I need. It isn’t, but it works doesn’t it? I’d still be complaining that I don’t have a great wardrobe to work with, but as it turns out a tank top and shorts are good enough.  Without being brought to my knees and asking God “what gives?!”... I would not be doing what I am doing. I would not have seen the increase that I have or be connecting with the people I am.

There are so many more examples I could share concerning this oh-so-powerful shift, but what it really comes down to is this one introspective question:

What perspective(s) do you need to shift in order to massively change your outcome?

Is it your belief about your worth? you work? Or something else?

If you can answer that one question. Again and again. I can guarantee you will make a shift in the right direction.