Dear Becky, Bring Back the Music...

Dear Becky,

Hey, Friend, something has happened and we never saw it coming. Don’t worry, we are all currently safe, but… we’re a little stir crazy.

I know you don’t watch the news much, so you probably don’t know this, but the world as you know it is going to come to a screeching halt. I know it’s hard to fathom, but it’s coming.  You’ll be asked to stay home, avoid public places, homeschool your kids, and wash your hands like there’s a plague….because, well….there’s a plague.

I’m not really writing to you as a warning so much as just to offer some advice, and I’m going to sound a little nuts. Maybe I am a little. I mean, I’ve been in quarantine for over a month now and there is no end currently in sight.  We have big concerns about the economy, the healthcare system, and the mental stability of the tiny dancer (the isolation is wearing on her), but again, that’s not why I’m writing to you.

Here’s the deal.  You’re a creative. You are a jack of all trades (though you feel like you’ve mastered none).  You are incredibly adaptive and innovative when it comes to solving problems both big and small.  I cannot remember a time you didn’t have some project or new thing on the horizon! You most likely won’t believe me when I say this, but eventually you’re going to fall in love with an artistic medium and you will build a career around it.  Don’t be fooled, my friend, it won’t be easy! You will struggle. You’ll have many an existential crisis, but you will have tapped into something bigger than you. And all of that will seemingly halt too. 

A plague is coming. 

Our world will suddenly stop and everything will go quiet.  The creativity that flows freely will be wiped away...or so it will seem for a time. You will feel like your brain and your life have been hijacked.  You’ll be asked to take on responsibilities you didn’t plan for and the things you spent so much time building will seemingly vanish overnight. You will experience great sadness when this happens and you will grieve.  It’s okay to grieve! By the time this happens, you’ll know that already.  

You’ll know that grief is valuable.  You’ll know that avoidance in general, only cuts off the growth that the Giver longs for you to experience. You’ll be well acquainted with pain and discomfort, and even though you still fear both, you’ll know that when you surrender, they make way for a deeper more tangible experience with the one called Yahweh.  You will have discovered that joy and sadness are not mutually exclusive emotions; there is a symbiotic relationship between them that makes the hard things more bearable and the joyful things more joyful when you allow yourself to experience them fully. It’s not comfortable to feel things so intensely, but it is good.

But when the world stops, and it will, everything will go quiet. Just like the streets outside your door, so will be the hum of your bustling creativity—silent.  You will feel as though you’ve been thrust into a vacuum. A formless void. You will watch others carry on as normal, but for you, the ground you stood on will disappear under your feet.  It will feel like spinning out of control, further and further from the footing you once relied upon. When this happens...remember this word…

Music.  

Turn on the music, Becky. 

You will have forgotten to.  You will not have noticed the silence you experience is self-imposed. 

Trust me on this, will you?   

I must admit I don’t fully understand why or how important this seemingly simple action is to you--to us. But it is.  Music will usher the presence of the wind again and with it will return form to your empty spaces. And although you may not know when or how you will carve out space for the things you toiled for previously, you will rest knowing that your vein of creativity has not left you...it has only shifted. It will look different during this strange season. 

What will it look like, you ask? Oh, Becky, you know I don’t give up my secrets that easily!—that’s a letter for another day. :)

Wash your hands, Friend!

-Lauren

3 Steps for Harnessing Inspiration in Your Creative Process

“I always get where I am going, by walking away from where I’ve been”

— Pooh

When I was growing up, my childhood bestie (and best friend of nearly 30 years) had an infatuation with Winnie the Pooh that I could never fully understand.  In middle school, she carried a Pooh-themed diaper bag as a purse, because that’s what you do when you’re just dipping your toes into your own individuality--and she wore it proudly.  I always admired her conviction of things. But as it was, you might say that my older influences had me prematurely “outgrow” anything that might have been considered “juvenile” in order to avoid any consequential heckling from my two, older, rough and tumble brothers.  But time is a funny thing, and as it would have it, even things you once couldn’t understand can become nostalgic when given enough of it.

When the movie “Christopher Robin” came out, I immediately thought of my sweet friend.  Though, to my greatest surprise I found it impacted and inspired me on so many levels, that I wonder how this was so sorely bypassed in my youth! I mean, how did I not see Pooh’s wisdom?  I suppose my gray hairs have lent me the ability to hear the profound intertwined with the simple, because some of the quotes brought my whole house of cards tumbling down... and those are the moments when I know a new image is being birthed.  A lot of what I create comes very simply from the shaking--the moments that God brings the cards down and clears my line of sight. It’s the pain and discomfort of the labor that births forth a beautiful story to tell. This is how I cultivate my creative process. These are my 3 steps to harnessing inspiration in your creative process and photography:

Step 1:  Recognizing your houses of cards.

Now, you may be thinking I’m nuts. It’s all good--I’m learning to own it.  But hear me out. We’ve all developed little houses of cards--and by that, I mean fragile little ways of thinking that aren’t built from solid wholehearted thought patterns. Nope.  These fragile structures are toxic ways of thinking that are built on lies or false beliefs that come about often because of pain or disappointment. Most of the time, we don’t know they are there until the truth begins to shake underneath them.  You’ve felt it. It feels like resonance; waves of truth that amplify and reverberate deep within your soul when you hear them. Learn to be sensitive to those.

Step 2:  Let the cards fall.

So many people are scared or even paralyzed when the cards fall, because where do you go from there?  But I’m here to tell you, let them fall! Let every last wrong way of thinking come down. Sure it’s unsettling and I am no stranger to it.  But when that big fragile structure is leveled...you’ve just cleared your line of sight. You now have a new foundation from which to build truth upon.  You take that wrong way of thinking, identify what the truth is, and now you have a story to tell.

Step 3:  Tell the story

Now that you’ve identified your shifty house, weathered the storm, and endured the discomfort of the cards falling...now you begin to tell your story.  This is where the magic happens. This is where I begin to think of ways that I can symbolically represent a chapter of my story in a single image. What elements or props could you use to represent your chosen them? What body position, colors, or lack thereof would set the tone for the story you are telling?  Think about ways that you can intertwine literal interpretations with symbolic ones. But tell your story.

In this piece, I wanted to show the sense of vulnerability, joy and melancholy of waiting for dreams to come to pass.  I used the balloons to represent my many dreams, the color red to provoke a sense of strength in vulnerability and my daughter’s bear to represent my choice to approach my journey with child-like faith as I wait for my dreams to come to pass.

As I watched Christopher Robin, several parts struck me in profound ways, but among them is a part when Christopher Robin is trying to send Pooh back to the 100 acre wood in an attempt to protect his own house of cards per-sey.  We all do it. It is only natural to act in self preservation when we feel the shaking. But embrace it. And as pooh steps into the doorway he is met by his disappointment of being sent away and having to face his journey potentially alone.  Instead of walking away from those hard feelings, he embraces them, stops and waits. When Christopher Robin asks, “Pooh what are you doing”. Pooh responds, “ Sometimes when I’m going somewhere, I wait. And then a somewhere comes to me.” This is the moment when Christopher Robin chooses to embrace the shaking and let his cards fall. Upon entering the 100 acre wood, in the quest to find Pooh’s friends, they must overcome the fear of being lost--the same feeling we feel when our expectations have been leveled. Instead of becoming paralyzed in this place, they both choose to move through it, when Pooh offers this invitation...

“I always get where I am going, by walking away from where I’ve been”

— Pooh

Clouded Perspective: How shifting your perspective can shift your outcome

In photography perspective is everything.  As photographers and creatives we make a living from selling our perspective.   We see what others don’t, we make it reality, and people pay us for that. But what do you do when clouded thinking alters your perspective and renders you stuck?  What do you do when your perspective becomes the very thing that holds you prisoner to your circumstance? You have to shift.

If you know or have followed me, you know that walking through brokenness with others is the name of my game.  I’m the weirdo that gravitates toward it. Often, brokenness can bring with it a sobered mindset, which I’ve come to deeply appreciate, but it can also bring clouded perspectives.  As I’ve been walking this out, I’ve found myself chewing on this piece of shifting my perspective for some time. Isn’t it funny how when a theme is planted in your heart, you suddenly see how it relates to everything--professionally and personally?

And to think Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton’s video was the trigger point.  

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend watching it as it has been a pandora’s box of inspiration to me.  When I look at a work like this, one thing seems clear… you must have an amazing team come together, in one harmonious vision, tasked with only one thing--you do you to further this vision.

When creatives align and have room to freely do what they do--It resonates! Ferociously.

Now, I’m admittedly a little embarrassed that you could lump me in the fan-girl category for Justin Timberlake, because I was the girl who flat refused to like NSYNC in high school.  However, as he matured from his former curly-haired-baby-face-days, JT has shown talent and creativity you cannot deny...and that music video was the tipping point for this blog-post-to-come..

It began with a rabbit-trail-of-thought where as I watched I asked myself what I would do if I had access to the same resources I saw at work in the video.  Which ultimately led me to ask myself how can I get close to creating that thing with the resources I have. Which led me to revisit this piece…

…and shift the perspective to this piece…

Which ultimately has become one of my top performing images to date and landed itself in a permanent spot for Photo Place Gallery’s Online “Altered Realities” exhibition.

Further still, if I could boil all of that down for a 5 minute interview with Justin (because we’d totes be on a first name basis), I would ask him only one question,

“What perspective(s) had to shift to get you where you are today?”  

That’s it.  

That’s all I’d want to know.

Okay, soooo I might ask my buddy Justin if he would connect me to his people so I can share the same creative connections.  Come on, I’d be stupid not too!

At any rate, I’ve been working on this thought-piece of how shifting your perspective can also shift your outcome dramatically, through the simple act of asking myself that question each time I come up against what feels like a road block. But in some instances,  my perspective was so clouded, I could not see it was wrong yet. I was still stuck in the struggle.  I was allowing my vision to be clouded by my perceived failures...failure to produce resources, failure of talent, failure to connect, failure to succeed.

Did you catch that? My vision was clouded by my perceived failures.

You see, I believe perspective can mislead you, break you, or make you.  It all depends on how you approach it and what you do with it.

For me, the right perspective always comes with the renewing of my mind in reading the bible and practice.

This past week I was invited to a private art exhibit where proceeds of sales would be donated to a local non profit.  When the owner of this non profit stood up to talk about the work he was doing, my tendency toward cynicism might have rendered me stuck at  ”here’s another dude with more money than he knows what to do with needing a tax break”. I’ll admit, that tends to be my unfortunate default, but knowing how unfair that is, I chose to shift. Quickly.  

Eleanor Roosevelt once said “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people”.

Brilliant words...so let’s focus on ideas shall we?

A really interesting thing happened when I shifted...Instead of standing in unfair shallow judgement, I was able to hear the extraordinary heart of a man with a vested interest in at-risk kids.  A man who was himself surprised at the exponential change taking place. What began as a relatively straightforward idea of improving sports fields and resources at inner-city schools has been directly reflected in the increase in graduation numbers and teens pursuing higher education, as well as lowering incarceration stats among the teens and young adults in the area. My perspective had shifted.

After listening to that, I had to shake that man’s hand.  So I did. Which I should point out, is a boldness that I did not previously possess due to the misperception that I don’t belong.

Furthermore,he introduced me to his right hand-- a lady who owns a branding and marketing company--also wildly successful by my current standards.  Among many hats she wears, she loves to help non profits reach their full potential by breaking through certain stereotypes around fundraising that cause them to plateau. As I stood and talked to her for a long time, she offered me a very interesting little morsel to chew on.  She said that she believes her company’s success rides solely on her positive perspective about fundraising, which contrasts with the traditional “check the box” perspective the rest of her profession carries. What a funny thing to say, but since we’re focusing on ideas, let me explain how it applied to my personal experience.

This week I heard a fellow creative say that she felt she was invisible to her audience.  It broke my heart. That used to be a HUGE struggle of mine that ultimately caused me to remain stuck in my business and online presence.  For me it boiled down to the lie that I don’t belong. I shared with her a quote I read in “Braving The Wilderness” that was a catalyst for breaking that misperception:

“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”

— Brene Brown, Braving The Wilderness,

What a perspective shift!  One that I have traversed personally.  

You see, three years ago I set out to start my photography business and was failing miserably as of late last year.  I believe it’s because I didn’t yet believe that my perspective behind a camera carried worth. I believe God frustrated my efforts to get me to hone in on my unique perspective which cannot be duplicated by another.  If I had not been bored and frustrated to tears, if I had something left to lose--professionally speaking, I would not have found my most honest voice behind the camera. I would not have determined that my photographic perspective was worth the price I command and I would still be negotiating my worth with clients who wanted to spend less.

Let’s hang out here for just a second...

As creatives, it’s a tough business, amirite?  As a photographer, I would sometimes have prospective clients come to me because they love my work/perspective, but they didn’t love my price and they want me to do it “this” way.  

How, pray-tell, does that work?  Who hired who?

Clients, let me tell you this...if you ask a creative to bend their vision to yours, they may acquiesce because they want the business, but the outcome will disappoint because you have quenched the very creative spark that drew you to them in the first place.

And, if you saw and admired the work of a creative...BUUUUYYYYY IT. Don’t run off to a big box store and buy the cheap, mass-produced, not original, wanna-be-art. Because every time a bell rings...another artist starves to death for a bullshit cheap imitation. Trust us, will you?  We’re professionals! ;)

I digress...

My efforts were frustrated, but it brought me to a place of demanding my worth.  Of realizing that me and my work’s worth remains even if it is not appreciated by the masses. Because someone will and that connection is worth everything to me! I believe God orchestrated the frustration of my efforts to show me that I was aiming for the wrong thing.  Instead, I realized I’ve got something to say and the right people haven’t heard it yet. I made the choice to speak my truth even if no one appears to be listening, because my voice matters even if it’s not appreciated by the masses. The things I have to say won’t be relevant to everyone, but they will be relevant to someone.

That is what it’s about amirite?

Just because I personally do not love Picasso’s work doesn’t mean his work doesn’t have worth now does it?

It’s all about the shift.  And if you shift the right direction, so will your outcome.

If my perspective had not shifted, I would still be shedding tears that I did not have the resources I needed to do what I was doing. I’d still be making excuses that my camera isn’t the one I need. It isn’t, but it works doesn’t it? I’d still be complaining that I don’t have a great wardrobe to work with, but as it turns out a tank top and shorts are good enough.  Without being brought to my knees and asking God “what gives?!”... I would not be doing what I am doing. I would not have seen the increase that I have or be connecting with the people I am.

There are so many more examples I could share concerning this oh-so-powerful shift, but what it really comes down to is this one introspective question:

What perspective(s) do you need to shift in order to massively change your outcome?

Is it your belief about your worth? you work? Or something else?

If you can answer that one question. Again and again. I can guarantee you will make a shift in the right direction.

Baggage: When Did Art Leave the Church?

This last weekend I drove to Mckinney TX both to celebrate the accomplishment and fresh dream of my best friend of nearly 30 years, as well as to be a part of an international gathering of women celebrating their faith in what we know as the IF:gathering.  It was a first for me on many levels, but it was an experience I will never forget! As I drove 3 hours home, tired as i was, I had plenty of time to process and unpack it all. Truly, I think there are more blog posts than I have head space to write at this point.  Also, I tried to get up before the whole house was awake to write this, only to have tiny toes follow me for some fortnite--insert eyeroll.

At any rate, last weekend’s talks sparked several conversations in my heart:

When did art leave the church?  And what is the point of church at all?

Yes, you read that right.  I’m questioning the purpose of the American Church.  

Now depending on what camp you fall in,  I will have lost or gained many of you based on that last sentence, but if I may implore you to make it to the end...I sincerely think it may be worth your time. This is not really intended to be a faith-based blog, though I am a faith-based person, so obviously faith is going to be something I unpack from time to time

I remember when I was just a girl going to junior high church camps and spending my spring breaks doing missions in impoverished parts of mexico, always hearing statistics spouted about the “mass exodus” of young people in the church.  I heard these stats echoed all the way through my days in campus ministry at Texas Tech. But if I’m honest, I never thought too much about it, mostly because church had always been filled with fun and friends. I couldn’t understand what would cause people to want to walk away.

Fast forward about 15 years and I can confidently say that I get it now!  

Why?  Because the last couple of years, I’ve questioned the concept of what we recognize as the “American Church”. <insert record skipping>.

Go ahead, read that again.  I’ll wait…

This may seem a little out of left field since I am a conceptual fine art photographer, so let me offer you some background before we begin unpacking this heavy suitcase.  I am what you could call “ well-churched” I’ve basically been a church-goer my whole life. I made a choice to follow Jesus as a very little girl. Sure, there are many gaps in my life where my devotion to my faith was questionable at best, but in my heart of hearts, I meant it. At any rate, Church is the place I found some of my deepest friendships--BUT--and it’s a big one-- it’s also where I experienced some of my deepest pain and biggest rejections. You see, church is supposed to be this safe space to go to when your broken.  It’s supposed to be a place where you can be your most vulnerable and find healing. It’s a place that should carry the weight of who you are with ease. That is what Jesus offers us isn’t it? But if that is what the church is, why was there a mass exodus of young people? Why are more and more people, including myself, questioning whether the American church is worth investing time in?

The churches that I have tried to get connected to, seem to not have a room for me--the person from out of town--the non-college student--the girl who makes weird art.

And now we’re getting to the fun part, yeah?  Relax. I’m only likely to ruffle a few feathers ;)

I don’t know about your church, but the last 5 years of my church-going experience, have made me question everything.  And I mean EVERYTHING.

This.  This is where I begin to sort through this baggage. And I sincerely hope you’ll stick around for it.

5 years ago, the weatherman and I packed up and moved to the place we’d dreamed of for 11 years...

5 years ago, we left a brand new spacious 4 bedroom house on a quiet cul-de-sac and some of the best friends we’d ever had...

5 years ago, we left great schools and a great church full of great people to pursue a great dream of ours...

Also 5 years ago...

We landed in a tiny apartment in a unfamiliar place and half our belongings floating in a POD in the sky (as we called it).

In the midst of transition to the dream we’d steadfastly prayed and believed for--something in us broke. Completely. Totally.

We began experiencing crippling and devastating anxiety and depression. The kind that rules your entire life and threatens to strip you of EVERYTHING you know and love.

During all of this, we looked to do what we’d always done; the only thing we knew how to do...find our people (aka find a church).  Find a community of people who would love us through this challenging time and transition. Find a community of people who could support us and walk with us through the darkest days we’d experienced in our entire marriage and maybe ever.

Do you know what we found?  Not that.

It’s no wonder people are leaving the church by the droves if this is how it’s done.

Do I sound angry?-- I am.  It grieves me.

We found a place where people already had their groups of friends.

We found a place where there didn’t appear to be room for us.

We found a place of impatience where coffee and conversation didn’t “fix us”.

Worst of all, we found impotence toward fixing real problems.

The Church did not appear to be able to provide healing counsel and/or support to us.

We found a place where people did not seem particularly interested in the inconvenience and longsuffering of building relationships with new people, but especially new people with baggage-not-easily-unpacked.

Cue the art…

Fast forward a couple of very miserable years and this is where art found me...okay sort of, but that’s a conversation for another day.

In 2015 I picked up a camera, learned how to use it, and started a business--the same way everyone gets into photography these days.

In 2018, my business was failing, I was bored out of my mind, but I had something unrecognizable burning deep within me.

You know the saying, “necessity is the mother of invention”?  I believe necessity lives at the crux of boredom sometimes.

That’s when I started creating ART!

But not just any art...deep art.  The kind that comes from the unspoken place.  The place you forgot about. The places you buried 6ft under and planted fresh flowers over to mask the stench of death and decay.

I didn’t know what or how, but only that I HAD to.

Once I started--I couldn’t stop.  I can’t stop.

And then a funny thing happened--people started watching.  

Suddenly, I had their attention whether I wanted to or not. (Okay, maybe I wanted it--I’m building something here.  Don’t’ judge me)

Suddenly, I had a unique group of people, including some church people, gravitate toward the thing I was creating.  They didn’t seem bothered by it’s raw nature. They weren’t concerned that it screamed at them. Not even bothered that it made them feel things that were uncomfortable to speak of.  

My art was speaking. It had a voice. It is as if it tapped into something people wanted/needed!

Art.  

These people I found myself swimming with, were not the “religious folks”. No, I’m pretty sure I make those folks cringe and I’m okay with that.

These people were willing to look and say “This resonates”.

Resonance.

Art striking a beautiful chord  in the hearts of a people.

My people.

That’s when it hit me--Art creates community!  But not just any community--a community of people in process!  These people, were people willing to acknowledge their brokenness!  These people weren’t afraid to feel.

These people are my people.

I found my people.    

Many of them are artists. Artists of their own mediums.

Do you know what’s great about artists?  They make us think. They’re willing to face real issues--to speak of them in a universal language.  They press our traditional boundaries. They ask the real questions.  They explore and find truth.  Artists are truth seekers, wave-riders, healers.  

Do you remember the story of the tower of babel??? --Artist speak the only language we all understand!

In the last 6 months, I believe God has opened my eyes to see his movement.  I hadn’t noticed it before. I believe there is momentum like never before-- a revival even--do you see it?  

I believe God is raising a generation of artists to create ART.  

Good art speaks...it moves...it makes connection.

It heals.

It’s helps us experience our brokenness and deliver us from it at the same time (I think Brene Brown said that)  

Art puts words to things only the spirit knows.

Art speaks a different language and the way you become fluent is simply by being willing to feel.

People!, I beg you to get this!.

Art draws people...did you hear that? ←-read that again.

And again. And again!

Art draws people.  Literally and Symbolically.

Art Draws people. They are churched.  They are unchurched. They are broken. They are whole. Some of them have deep disdain for the Church as they’ve known it--for many of the same reasons I do, but THESE ARE MY PEOPLE.  They are your people. They are in process. And they show it through incredible works of thought provoking art.

And while we’re here….when and why did the church and the arts break-up anyway?

The early churches were covered wall to wall with frescoes and giant sculptures created by our artistic forefathers.

When was the last time you saw a piece of thought provoking art in a church?

So I wrote all of this crazy long drawn out not meant to be churchy blog post--to say. What if God is bringing a worldwide revival through the arts?  What if He is calling out artists, creators, craftsman and maker’s to be his medium and carry out his work?

What if He is using art  to show Himself in an unprecedented way?  I believe He is. I believe you’ll see it too if you’ll only open your eyes to the movement of what’s going on around you...on instagram..in the media… people leaving their jobs to give way to dreams of creative entrepreneurship!  It’s happening all around us! WAKE UP!

People! Let’s marry the church and art again! I believe this is a beginning revival, but it doesn’t look like we expect it to--guess what--that is art.

I’d pack my bags tomorrow and travel the globe to speak of this if anyone would hear me!!

So as I wrap this up, let me issue these final thoughts.

God is not limited to the confines of our 4 walls or our limited minds.  He will find a people to align with him and do his work whether the American Church will see it or not.   We do not know how many people were invited to follow before Simon and Andrew dropped what they were doing to follow Jesus to learn to fish differently in Mark 1:16-17.  We don’t get to know that. All I know is that I believe Jesus has issued me this invitation to help bring arts back into the church and the church to the arts--it may not look the way you thought it would--but isn’t that the way God works?  

“After all, He is not tame lion, No, but he is good.”

~ The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

2019: The Year of Freedom

Happy New Year all! We’re already at the end of the first month and so I’m a little late —get used to it :). I’ve had it in mind to begin blogging again about my conceptual artwork. A growing number of you have asked to hear more about my work and process. I have been listening! But you should know — sometimes it takes every ounce of spare energy just to create after ubering children and all the other responsibilities I have as a wife and mother of 3; mustering words to accompany my work for a post on the various social media platforms sometimes makes my room turn sideways. And sometimes I create for the very purpose of not having words. With my dream being to have my works displayed in galleries, on book covers , and beyond from coast to coast, it will be vitally important for me to better articulate my heart, my process, and my value for those whom it reaches. So without further introduction, across these virtual pages it is my goal to articulate my personal creative process, to inspire authenticity and vulnerability, personal growth and healing, and hopefully energize your own creativity! Nothing would make me happier than to know that my blood, sweat, and tears inspired someone else to pursue their God-given nature to create art in whatever form that takes—and they are countless as the stars!

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let me give you a brief synopsis of what I pray this new year has in store for me and my family. Without laying my whole life on the table, let me just say that much of 2018 was heavy. It felt something like being tethered to an undefinable weight of sorts. I can’t begin to articulate the number of things adding to that weight, but I can say, that in spite of it all, I could hear the whispered promise of freedom echoing in my heart—a promise that I wrestle to embrace. I identified that echo as my theme for 2019 and I’m excited to say that this piece, which represents that struggle, will be shown at the Paseo Arts Member’s Show tomorrow night (contact me for details!)

At any rate, through the smattering of typos and hurried thoughts (that’s my life y’all) my prayer for this unfolding year was/is that I would learn to navigate what it means to be unbound and fly high without fear of the sun. And with only a loose framework for where I hope these virtual pages will take me, may we embark on this new year sharing our process and connecting on a deeper level—together!

Now if you’ll excuse me…I’m going to go work through this vulnerability crisis I just created for myself.

~Lauren Ashley